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Would you consider dating someone who informed you that they genital herpes? I say that with the realization that I don't know just *how* difficult it is to prevent transmission, and whether that means there can't ever be spontaneous sex.

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They are careful during outbreaks, which she can always feel coming on, and her husband has not gotten herpes in all those years.

One of the most difficult things I had to do was call former boyfriends I may have exposed (think it was dormant in my system for quite sometime, I honestly did not know). I think all the readers should take a second to put themselves in your shoes for a moment. That’s 50 MILLION people, a majority of whom don’t even know they’re infected.

None of these guys started screaming at me, they THANKED me and said they would get tested – none of them had it -YAY!!!! And while I’m not an expert in herpes, per se, I do know a number of people who have it, and continue to lead rich, happy, limitless dating lives. Because one second you’re saying “No way” to a guy with herpes, and the next, you’re praying that a guy doesn’t judge you for this one minor thing. According to Herpes.com, 50-80 percent of the American adult population has oral herpes. The scariest part of this whole thing is the staggering ignorance about herpes – a disease that undoubtedly affects someone that you know. Well, let’s just say that I have close friends, clients, and ex-girlfriends who have genital herpes, and none of them are traumatized, hospitalized or ostracized because of it. Just know that if you have the disease, you may be entirely asymptomatic, which would mean that you could potentially transmit it without knowing.

I’m not about to try and sugar coat or simplify the decisions you are going to have to make about continuing the relationship. Is she going to tell me about it, or am I just going to have to kick back and wait for blisters to start showing up on my junk?

There are many, and not all of them will be easy ones to make. Honestly, in a healthy relationship, intimacy should be talked about before you engage in sexual activities, not after the fact, or while you are taking your clothes off.




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